i could have gone to florida...

this whole summer i've been craving the beach or a trip of any kind, really, to a fun vacation spot. a family friend offered to take me to Florida with her kids but i turned it down because we had a guest coming from California and we already had plans to go to Gatlinburg. it seems crazy to turn down Florida for Gatlinburg but i felt bad leaving my mom. plus we'd reserved a room at a hotel by Dollywood so at least there'd be a pool and possible fun times to be had, right?
FUCKING WRONG.

i can has beach tiems plz?

i guess i should make it clear that the whole reason we were going to Gatlinburg was so that this lady could meet some guy she might possibly marry. he lives in White Pine which is about an hour away.

while we were eating breakfast this morning at Breugger's (everything bagels with cream cheese are my reason for living) her potential fiance calls us to say: forget the hotel, come stay with me on my FUCKING FARM.

what's wrong with a farm? nothing. the idea of hanging out on a really nice ranch where i can see animals and do fun farm stuff (whatever that is) doesn't sound bad at all but that's just it; there is nothing on this farm. i don't even think you can call it that anymore. it is the empty shell of what once was a farm. it is to farms what humans are to zombies. i'm going to spend three day on a zombie farm.

i imagine mr. future husband looks something like this.

but i guess i owe this lady. she bought me two pairs of pants.

technically, i haven't seen the farm yet, just heard about it. i'm writing this as we drive so maybe it won't be so bad. i'll keep you posted.